I want to learn to abide in Jesus
I want my life to reflect Christ. I used to think that learning the Bible was something that you did on Sundays. That talking about God and about what He was doing in my life, was too difficult and messy. However, I am learning that Christ wants me to learn to abide in him, while I live life, and to talk about what He is bringing me through. Especially when it’s messy and imperfect. What better way to understand grace and sacrifice, than to live it out, to live through it, and to learn from it? I want to reflect Christ as I live life, I want to be so tangled in His word that I can’t help but talk about Him and all He does.
Motherhood is a mission and it is meant to be done in community
Motherhood can be very isolating. Trying to arrange playdates or coffee talks, does not happen as often as we would like or need. Add to that, chasing children around while having friends over, and you might get a small conversation in, but rarely get to the heart of life. That is why I want to take advantage of the amazing opportunity to have in an online community. I want this to be a place of encouragement, a place where others can come and be reminded that they are loved and cared about. That you matter and what you do every day, matters.
I love to encourage others
I have no shame in talking about my faults and showing my struggle. I will admit when I need help, because I have come to understand that God uses our true vulnerability to his glory. When we go through the hard stuff, we can see God working if we are looking for Him, seeking him. How much greater is our testimony, than when we are seen hurting and yet seen seeking God through it? And then when we talk with others about life, we have been there and felt the hurt, felt the isolation, felt the pull of lies that the enemy shouts in our hearts. We can connect and give genuine love to those who need it the most. I believe that God uses us to show his love, and it gives my heart great joy to be used in this way.
I believed the lies and still have to fight those lies with truth
One of the biggest lies that I believed, was that I was alone. That I was the only one who has gone through this, and that I was the first to fail in this way. Therefore I was weak and couldn’t move forward. These are lies I still battle every day, but when I share my struggles and stories, giving God the glory, God can and will use it. That is why I am sharing; if my experiences can be used to make one mama, wife, military spouse, and woman feel a little less alone, than it is worth it.
I have been blessed by an online community
My husband and I were stationed overseas in Germany, on what is called a “remote assignment” (Living on the economy, not a base. We lived four hours from the closest base.) In those two years, I learned how desperate I am for God, his word, and why He calls us to community.
My Husband was given language training, but unfortunately I was not; and while I do speak Spanish, it didn’t serve me as well as I had hoped when it came to buying the groceries. I studied language in college, have a teaching degree, an ESL minor, and studied Spanish for six years. I thought that I would have no problem learning German while we were there. I mean, we were living in this cute little German town, and what better way to learn the language than to jump in, right? Well as it turns out, jumping in helps you learn the survival words, pressures you into learning common phrases; it does not teach you how to speak a language. Learning takes time and studding, it takes a teacher, and it takes practice.
Giving the time was my challenge. When we moved to Germany we had a 1.5 year old little boy, and a month after we arrived, we found out that we were pregnant with our second child. We were looking for a doctor before our things arrived from the states, we were still sleeping on the air mattress. So not only did I not know German, but now I was expected to speak to my OB, who spoke little English, and I very little German, about my growing baby.
In Germany I came to understand the importance of knowing God; but more important knowing the truth of the Bible. When you are alone friend, it is so easy to be lied to. The enemy cuts us off from others before he does his best work. But when we Abide in Christ by reading our bible and holding His truths in our heart, we can fight those lies.
I am still learning
I still struggle to keep close friends as we move with the military, but that does not mean I am alone. I try to keep the few friends that have held on, to invest in those relationships. I have also learned the power of writing, the way we can use the internet community to our advantage. You may be sitting in your house and are unable to have a friend over to encourage your soul, but you can let me be that encouragement.
So when I tell you friend, that I have been where you are, feeling scared, alone, isolated, and challenged, I have been there. I don’t want you to battle alone. God met me where I was, and He used others who were willing to let their stories be told. I pray that as you read this you understand how loved you are. That as I write this, I am praying for you. Praying that God would show himself in a tangible way that brings you deeper into his arms and reminds you that He cares very much.
Now my friend, I will get things wrong. I will misunderstand and misinterpret passages. But as a Christian, it is our job to keep digging and to keep learning. I am Learning to Abide, it is a process. It’s a journey. I am so excited that you are here!